Before He Cheats, Consider the Legal Repercussions of Your Actions

I know that this class is long over, but sometimes an idea sticks in my brain and I need a place to put it.

 

As I was vengefully listening to country music because my co-workers hate it, I was struck by the amount of damage Carrie Underwood does to her lover's car in the song Before He Cheats. I assume we've all heard this masterpiece, but if not, here is a link to the song. 

So, to reiterate, Carrie

1) Dug her keys into the side of his pretty little souped-up four wheel drive. 

2) Carved her name into the leather seats. 

3) Took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights. 

4) Slashed a hole in all four tires. 

In Carrie Underwood's home state of Oklahoma, would she get in legal trouble for doing this? Although I am absolutely on her side, here, it feels like a lot for just suspecting him of cheating. 

For keying the car and destroying the seats, Carrie would be charged with a misdemeanor as long as the damage was under $1,000 dollars. However, just the seats would likely put her over the limit, making the "vandalism and malicious mischief" charge a felony. 

Breaking the headlights would also fall under the vandalism charge. However, if the cheater were to drive with said headlights, he would likely be pulled over by the police and fined about $10. They would attempt to fix the headlights, but considering the damage one can do with rage and a baseball bat, it may be a job for the professionals. 

As far as the tires, this would be considered a misdemeanor and Carrie would be expected to pay a fine as well as a replacement fee. 

Because she committed a felony, Carrie would be fined up to $1,000 and sentenced to up to 2 years in state prison. 

In exchange the cheater would maybe feel bad and have to go to the trouble of getting his car fixed. I think she could go about her revenge more effectively. 

Next time, join me for an exploration of Taylor Swift's No Body, No Crime. Would she be caught and if so, would she get in trouble?